Tuesday, January 29, 2008

I Has An Lightsaber: No More Heroes, First Impressions

So the other week I picked up No More Heroes. I get the impression a lot of people haven't heard much about this game, and I vaguely understand why; it's not terribly 'big name' beyond its Suda51 (notably Killer7, among others) origin.

Long story short: You are a random otaku living in Santa Destroy (yes, that's what it's called) named Travis Touchdown (no, really). You win a "beam katana" - what most people not worrying about copyright infringement might call a "lightsaber" - on an online auction, and promptly use it to kill some assassin who looks curiously like Raiden from the Metal Gear Solid games. This causes a hot French chick, Sylvia, to inform him that with killing that guy, he is now the 11th ranked assassin in the International Assassin's League (or whatever it is). If he was interested, he could aim for #1. Being a nerdy otaku confronted by a stunningly hot blond whose shirt acts more like a highlight to her bra than a shirt, and moreover, being an otaku owning a lightsaber, he agrees.

You spend your time in game in two (well, three, but...more on the last later) distinct modes. One is combat missions; there's roughly three types of these. There are "free missions" - kill a ton of guys without being hit, and "assassination missions," which have somewhat more specific goals (ranging from "kill the CEO of Pizza Butt" to "kill as many guys as you can with wrestling moves" and more). The last is a "rank battle", where you go after the assassin currently ranked above you. This involves hacking your way through hordes of goons first. I'll not lie - the combat is quite good. The controls are responsive; the angle at which you hold the wiimote dictates your stance, and actually attacking is initiated by the A button (for slashing) or the B button (for melee). There's a cute little controller flick thing for finishing off enemies, usually cutting them in half with a tremendous gout of blood and coins. The controls are fairly standard Wii 3rd Person action-adventure otherwise, though I'll note there's no pointing involved (YAY).

After all the goons are dead, you face off against the boss. There is some *quality* dialogue before and after - think Kill Bill on a little acid - and then the boss fights, which are so far a decent challenge, a lot of dodge and weave and wait for openings. After you win, there's some more chatter, and then Sylvia shows up for cockteasery and plot. Then you get a bill for the money needed to start the next ranked match.

Now, you'll get money for killing people in the ranked match, but generally you'll have to do assassination missions, free melee missions, and...chores. Yeah. You go to the job center, and get one of many rather silly minigame-jobs - collect coconuts, cut grass, etc. They're not bad per se, but they're pretty random, and I imagine after collecting coconuts for the 100th time you'd hate it.

Meanwhile, to do most of this crap, you have to ride your super-motorcycle (seriously, it's bigger than a car - imagine the FF7 motorcycle on steroids) around all over the town. It's like GTA, but...there's nothing *there*. Oh, there's pedestrians, but nothing happens if you hit them. Wail into a wall? You fall off the bike. Soar off into the river? You show up back at your apartment. About all you can do is dig for treasure, hit dumpsters for shirts and money, and pick up Dragon I MEAN Lovikov Balls to trade in for special techniques. And go from point A to point B as you need.

So, I love the combat part. You hack the hell out of things, and sometimes you go into special modes - Dark Matter or somesuch, announced by *hilarious* names - and really wail on the enemies, nice and stylistically. It's quite a lot of fun, and very fluid motion-wise. The problem is that you have as much time roaming the city or doing dumb minigames, or more, as you do actually, you know, assassinating things. You have a lightsaber, for god's sake, why aren't you using it ALL THE TIME?

I'm really just starting to get into the "need lots of money to progress" stage so this may get more aggravating as I play, but so far I'm enjoying myself enough between the sporadic and awesome combat and the crazy plot/characters/style (seriously, Kill Bill on acid) to keep playing. Have to see how it goes, though.

The Bad:
-wtf coconut gathering
-city travel is boring
-motorcycle controls are clunky, lots of hit box issues

The Good
-Stylistically awesome
-interesting (at least initially) characters, good plot
-fluid, fun combat
-decent challenge

Bottom line: There are worse things you could do with your time, and if you like oddball stylistic stuff and rapid 3D action adventure, it's a solid choice. Just keep in mind, it's not all lightsaber, all the time.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

I May Be Wright; I May Be Crazy

Okay, so maybe I'm a little late with this one (and I don't mean "in span of time since the last entry", though that's true too. Every few days...not so much any more). But I've been playing this series a healthy amount as of late, and it bears talking about.

For those who haven't heard of it, the Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney series - which, with the fourth game not actually starring that character, should probably just be called the Ace Attorney series - is something best called a "visual novel" series - essentially a book told out in video game format, with some interactivity on the player's part.

Now, given that, you may say, "Ayndin, if it's just a book you play through, and everyone hates reading nowadays, why does this series sell like crack-laced pancakes?"

I'll answer that in a bit. First, some background on the games.

In all of them, you play a defense attorney, out to get your (usually) innocent clients off for horrible crimes (ALWAYS MURDER, sometimes with more additional crime). The game is set in something that is supposed to be somewhere in the US (LA is implied, I think, but it could be anywhere), though the judicial system is VERY DIFFERENT - guilty until proven innocent being the most notable change, also no jury (well, until the fourth game, according to my advance reading), and three-day trial limits. Spirit mediums - people who can channel the spirits of the dead - are...not commonplace, but are a semi-valid resource for the police, and you'll be seeing a lot of them.

The characters are the real joy, though. In the first three, you play Phoenix Wright, a somewhat hapless, somewhat straight-man-ish guy who conducts trials (and investigations to prepare for them) by the seat of his pants. The rest of the cast is great - the interplay with his somewhat silly assistant works very well, as does with his boss (and unfortunately I can't go into more details on them, for spoilerish reasons); Gumshoe - yes, many names are horrible puns - is the detective you wind up interacting with most of the time that is called for, and he's memorable as a big loveable goof. Your main "rival" (for much of the game, anyway) - the star prosecutor, Miles Edgeworth, at first just seems like $GENERIC_RIVAL but accumulates development sufficient to make him comparably real and understandable to the player to Wright himself (and, partway through the third game, I can honestly say I find him more interesting than Phoenix). There are lots and lots of plot twists and turns - sometimes absurdly so, but usually it works.

Gameplay itself is pretty simple - choosing things from a menu-like interface, picking answers, etc.; no real action here. You'll be asked to both do investigations - running around locations looking for evidence and facts by examining scenes and talking to people - and (of course) act as the defense in trials, where the goal is mostly to find contradictions in testimony and present evidence to break them. This is where "Objection!" comes from.

The game gives a nice range of options for control - crosspad and buttons, the stylus, and (for calling out objections) the DS mike (which I never use if I can help it, because I feel like a goof). It's mostly very polished - about the worst I can say is that the second game had a bunch of spelling and grammar errors.

So to answer the hypothetical question - well, people like trial stories, and the AA series does a damn good job of telling them.

The Bad:
-Occasional spelling/grammar issues
-Lack of cast variation might bother people: certain minor characters show up a lot, and sometimes you feel like you are defending the same people over and over. On the other hand, most of the characters are pretty neat, so this might not bother you.
-Lack of ability to speed up the text. You can do this if you have seen the text before, but otherwise not at all...a pain if you read fast, as you'll spend as much time waiting for people to finish talking as you will reading.
-sometimes hard to figure out exactly what they want you to present in trial; there was a case where I had actually figured out the entirety of what actually happened and how I'd present it to the court, but couldn't figure out what evidence mapped to that correctly.
-I sometimes found plot flow really inexplicable - "had you said X to Y we'd have been done a game-day earlier"
-Sometimes - notably in the "extra" fifth case on the first game - cases just seem way too long.
-pretty linear, but you might find yourself replaying it to see events in light of things you learn later on

The Good:
-awesome characters. I can't go into detail without lots of spoilers, you'll have to trust me on this.
-usually does a very good job of presenting convoluted, twisty court cases involving plots within plots
-speaking of the plots, on the whole very entertaining
-overall excellent localization/polish. A clown quotes the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air on the witness stand. I am not making this up.
-good choice in what you use to select things - can switch up as you get tired of one input type or another

In short - if you like (court) stories, and don't mind a healthy dose of reading off the DS screen, this series is worth playing. Start from the beginning, though.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Mass Effect - a Review

Pardon my long absence - end of semester, flurry of new games, you know how it is.

Anyway, Mass Effect. Bioware's new big space opera. I've actually played through it and am partway through my new game plus, so I figure I should maybe give it a review.

Visually, it's a pretty beautiful game. There's a lot of texture pop-in, but I hear this is an issue with the Unreal 3 engine the game was built with and as such not something we can complain about too much. The sound is very good as well - they were going for something like Vangelis (is that the right spelling) and other soundtrack provides for 80s scifi, and I think the succeeded very well. Check out the random planet (more on those in a bit) Metgos for some damn creepy ambiance.

Gameplay-wise, it's important to remember this is a third-person shooter as much as it is an RPG. The controls are fairly solid, though there is the Mako (again, more on that in a bit). Special ability use will probably be familiar to anyone who has played an MMORPG - it's entirely cooldown based; I think that worked very well, as it cuts out the need for an "MP meter" and at the same time still lets people much with the efficiency of the spell (by reducing the cooldown). The only downside? Biotics (magic) and engineering skills (more different hacking magic) don't really seem to hold a candle to shooting the hell out of something with a good gun. That said, I've not played as a biotic myself, only with biotic teammates, so maybe it's better when you have active control. If not, classes like the Adept, which are only proficient in the pistol (which is appropriately a very weak weapon, even fairly powered up) and the Engineer could well have a rough time of it.

Speaking of teammates - in *most* cases I like them. In particular, I greatly enjoyed Wrex - think HK-47, but a large frog-man mercenary - and Garrus - a somewhat "renegade" cop. Note that that "renegade" does not mean "turned against" as normal - it refers to the morality system of the game, which I'll get to later. That said, Kaiden, the mixed tech/magic guy and one of the two romance options for female characters, is sort of flat. Truth be told, everyone is - there's only three or four dialogues between your character and each of the supporting cast. This hurts the romances to a degree, as there's not really a lot of time to get to squishy stuff; Liara in particular comes off as "why does she like me so much;" she's the last one to join your group in the "normal" flow of things. It mostly feels like the romance options are the less likable/sensical ones - I got a more natural "there is attraction here" vibe between the main character and the Quarian engineer Tali than I did any of my actual choices, and I've seen a strong following seeing the same between Garrus (that turian cop) and the female incarnation of the main character. I'm also disappointed that there is a "lesbian" pairing (Liara is romanceable despite your gender) but no male/male one - curious considering there was in Jade Empire, it seems backpedaling-ish/"target audience"-y.

That said, Ashley, the female human shooty, is pretty well fleshed out, but she comes off as very strongly xenophobic, even racist - one of her "offhand" comments when you talk to her investigating the main town is something along the lines of "I can't tell the aliens from the animals." It's good that she's interesting, but I'd have preferred "likable and interesting," all told. The kicker is that supposedly the racist slant was accidental; either they are full of it or I'm greatly disappointed in their ability to see past their own notions of how the character is presented.

And now for my big gripe with the game: repetitiveness. The main mission worlds are good. Great, even. The issue is the "sidequests:" you go to random planets, you get into your space ATV and drive around poking minerals and crashed probes and such, you find a base of some sort with some enemies, you kill the enemies and (usually) go in the base to kill more enemies. Look at something, quest complete. Of the twenty-five-odd side missions that don't involve plot planets, that (or "skip the planet, just do the end base because it's a derelict ship") accounts for...probably twenty, with the gather missions being the other five. Yes, you probably don't have to do them to beat the game, but it's irritating for there to be a large amount of content that you feel like you should do...and then it's the same base thing with a new coat of paint each time. I mean, really, there are basically two base floorplans, one cave floorplan, and one ship floorplan. You see it over and over again.

It doesn't help that your main method of traveling these places is the Mako, your space ATV. It is sorta irritating, especially for climbing mountains (which you do constantly on side planets). Most of the challenge there was "how do I get my damn car up this mountain" as opposed to "how do I kill this thing." That said I was pretty okay at using the damn thing...I just wished it was much more optional, and less irritating when you do use it. At least near the end of the game/on new game plus you can pretty much handle all the tank enemies on foot.

Lastly, the morality system. Here, you are either a paragon - by the book - or a renegade - whatever is necessary. But it doesn't *really* work that way all the time. Yes, sometimes you will say "no I won't help you with that, it's against the law even though it would actively hurt bad people," but most of the time it falls down to "good" or "bad." Actually, check that - most of the time it falls down to paragon which is generally always lawful and sometimes/frequently good, or renegade, which is *invariably* "I'll do what I want" and is an asshole about it - usually neutral (possibly chaotic) evil. I would have liked a little more separation on that, thanks. Really a second meter, saint/asshole would have helped...but this is a very common issue in games with "morality." More interesting is that the two meters are separate - being a paragon then a renegade does not put you at net zero, it puts you up both (though not as much as if you'd acted one way both times). I like that - that you can move in more than one direction - but when they are supposedly opposites it doesn't make a whole lot of sense.

I think I would like to see something that takes a measure of the character as you present it early on - mandatory choices in the tutorial area, a questionnaire, whatever - and uses that as what your "bents" are, and rewards/penalizes you for sticking or not sticking to it. Extra bonus points if you can change them mid-game with consistent action in another direction.

Anyway, the good and bad!

Good:
-great graphics, sound
-overall tight controls
-interesting story in a well-fleshed-out world
-game mechanics are solid (didn't talk about this much, I was mostly satisfied with how leveling works/power gain)
-achievements actually affect gameplay (or this - basically, many achievements will give benefits to newly-made characters once you have them, which is neat)

Bad:
-highly repetitive sidequests
-not enough interaction with party, flat/inexplicable romance choices/entries
-dialogue is sometimes a little disjointed - there were a couple of occasions where I didn't quite see how a spoken line followed from what the person you were talking to just said, but not too often (I remember this happening in the Council talks early in the game)
-Thresher Maws can one-hit kill you in the Mako with no warning or chance to avoid - specific, but irritating
-possible lack of balance between shooting and casting

In general...I really liked the game. I just wish it was a little more meaty, you know? There's a lot of potential here, and it felt a little like they wanted to get more in but didn't have the time. But hey, ME2 eventually, right?

Monday, November 19, 2007

Zul'Aman - First Thoughts

So I had the chance to mess around in ZA this weekend.

Before I get into that, about my group: the majority of the group was Karazhan/Gruul's Lair level gear; some on the low end of that, some only looking for 1-2 drops, with 1-2 higher-geared (a t5ish healer, and a shadowpriest with BT/Hyjal gear). I was on both days MT.

First off: Scripted events, nice. The boss voices are good, and I imagine if you were trying to keep up with the timers the effect would be neat.

Secondly: Blizzard will never, ever learn regarding trash. No one liked the supression room in BWL. No one liked the supression room I MEAN bug tunnel before Fankriss in AQ40. No one liked the supression room I MEAN hallway of grubs and bats in Naxxramas. So why the hell is there another gauntlet where shit spawns at you in ZA?

Similarly, the trash respawn time for Eagle is very short, something like 45 minutes, an hour tops. We managed to screw around with it to remove the gauntlet part of it (kill the tempest on the stairs, very doable if they spawn when you're about to do an attempt), and given that it's a very short clear (5ish 2-pulls) that makes it not so bad, but regardless - enough people have complained about "we hate having to clear trash over and over" that they shouldn't be doing that any more.

There's also a lot of repetition in the trash - several times you have the same or very similar pulls right in a row. Frankly, I'm of the opinion that if a group can handle a given encounter twice, the only purpose of trying to use that same encounter on them again is either to kill time or try to catch them with their pants down/making a mistake.

That said, the trash isn't horrible like some of the Karazhan trash was. Everything seems to be tauntable, there's a lot less aggro-drop lameness (though, a lot more multi-elite tanking), hell, most trash is even stunnable.

As for the rest:
-Boss design is interesting; doing the Eagle fight after reading it was quite different than I thought it'd be. That in particular was a fight I could not see happening without counting how long before big special ability uses you have. The bear was well done, though I'm *still* not sure how fond I am of fights hinging on one ability not being resisted. Lynx is BUGGER HARD on healing, and requires two competent tanks (well, one at a minimum, but he'll have to handle the add, not the boss). I've yet to try dragonhawk/warlock/captain planet (seriously - imagine each boss calling out their avatar, with Warlock holding up a bloody heart, and tell me that you can't see Zul'jin showing up saying "I AM CAPTAIN TROLL PLANET!").
-Loot seems generally good, though scanning the loot tables makes me think that DPS casters (particularly affliction warlocks) get the short end of the stick.
-Forest frog shenanigans are fun; why are the little trinket dealies rolled on if you had to roll on the sticks first and they're not BoP? Also, very easy to not get money from that.
-Nice, "easy" quests with decent rewards (well...you get a 20-slot bag, anyway). There seems to be some plot there but I'm only partway through.

More to come as I run it more...

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

State of the World (of Warcraft)

For those of us still on the World of Warcraft horse, today is, as you probably know, Patch Day.

Patch Day is a wondrous time where Blizzard giveth and Blizzard taketh away.

Nerfs will be handed out, and everyone's addons will break until they update them; this is the bulk of the taketh away. I can understand the former: balance, tuning fights to be more what they are supposed to be/less impossible/less of a pushover. I don't quite get the latter, aside from changes that really mess around with the LUA interface to the game. Fine, maybe they just want us to know we should look for updates; sometimes we can just blithely hit "Load Out-of-Date Addons" and be done with it, but for major patches I tend to find I have to go to WoWAce or whatever and redownload the crap that makes up my UI. A huge deal? Not really - it gives me something to do on patch day (or rather, it used to, when I didn't have Other Things to Do as well) when the servers are generally messed up to all bijimminy.

The bright side of this patch includes a new 10-man raid instance, Zul'Aman, which is full of trolls. I am generally in favor of 10-man raids; in my opinion, it's a small enough number that unless you are the Most Antisocial Player Ever or cannot be online for more than an hour at a time (and even then, an understanding group can get you to see the content), you should be able to experience the place and get some HAWT PURPALZ. Even better, this particular dungeon is intended to be finished in a couple of hours, *literally* - for each boss (or at least the first five), you have twenty minutes to get to them and possibly also kill them to get some extra treasure. Unless Blizzard totally messed up the balance on that, this means that appropriately geared groups (Karazhan gear, not BT gear) with good knowledge of the fight should be able to accomplish that. So yes, your first few weeks it'll likely take a few more hours (though even if you take twice that...it's *still* only as much of a time investment as Karazhan), but then it'll pick up pace. Oh, and the loot is by and large pretty good, filling a bunch of unfortunate gaps in various offspec gear sets. Plus you get Badges of Justice.

Speaking of those, G'eras, who at this point has probably thoroughly won the "most items on a vendor" award, has a whole bunch of new stuff for people to buy with their precious badges. Some of the itemization there makes me scratch my head - what's with all the DPS plate without crit? - but many items are quite solid (notably for warriors, a pair of pants not too far off from tier 6; it actually has better stamina potential, but...that is a debate for another post). While everyone's favorite badge farming spot - heroic Mechanar - was nerfed (the Key-keepers or whatever they are no longer drops badges, instead the Cache of the Legion drops one), the 10-mans now drop badges (with Karazhan apparently giving 15 or so for a full run), so I think on the whole they'll be not too hard to get, especially for people who run 10-mans but don't have the time to heroics very often.

Also, faster leveling for sub-60 characters. That's gold - I've been on and off building up a new character - a druid - and given that it's my fifth character that's made it past 30ish...I find most of the Azeroth content kind of "well let's get this done with eh (especially the sub-30 content)." I imagine this might be a little bad for people who are just getting into the game and want to see all the content, but...I can't help feeling those people are in the minority now. This doesn't mean that they should be alienated; maybe we should encourage alting more. Or maybe make the "XP lost for being too high level for this quest" penalty smaller.

In general, this seems like a pretty good patch. Raiders get candy (though the hardcore raiders, god bless the crazy fools, will need to wait till 2.4 for their new instance), and casuals - well, all but the most casual - also get candy.

On that note - I'm not entirely sure what should be done to make the game more attractive to those people (mostly, those who can't play for more than an hour or so at a time). To some degree "well this requires block time commitments" and tough noogies, but realistically that should not be the case. Daily quests were a step in the right directions - short quests that you can get done and get some rep for an overarching reputation goal, and get some money - but a) the rewards are too hit-and-miss re: class specialization, b) some of the rewards are...not that well itemized, and c) some of them are inferior to gear out of heroics/badge rewards (which someone could conceivably get even with only an hour to play at a time). Then again, this needs to be balanced against stat inflation...but at the same time WotLK is coming, and if TBC was any indication, the gear we have now will not matter at all at 80. So maybe...let them have their cake and eat it to, maybe.

And that's what I have to say about that. For now.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Picross DS: Impressions

So I realize this game is a few months old, but it's relatively new to me, so nyah.

Picross is a simple game: you have a n by n grid. Each column and row of this grid has clues in the form of sets of numbers - for example, "10 1" - which tell you the size and separation of marked-in blocks in that column/row. Continuing the example, this means that in that row there is a row of 10 contiguous marked squares; somewhere after that, a single square is marked in. It is then your job to mark all the marked squares, unveiling a picture of a rabbit or something. That's the premise.

This game as a *metric buttload* of set puzzles, each of which you are to finish in an hour or less. Some puzzles - "normal" puzzles - they'll tell you when you mark a square wrong and deduct time from your score. Others - "free mode" puzzles - they'll just let you go on blithely, leaving you to wonder where you went wrong when you *think* you finished.

The game also has some online dealies I haven't really played with - something like downloading puzzles other people make and uploading your own. Honestly I'm only maybe 1/4 of the way through the stuff that comes int he box so...I don't really feel the need to do that yet.

There's also Daily Picross, which is basically Picross Brain Academy. They rate you on how fast you do a set of simple (7x7) puzzles, sometimes with extra rules added in.

Anyway, on to the b/g!

The Bad:
-The screen likes to move as you poke it; this can cause inadvertent marks sometimes, which is annoying.
-I've had some dislike of the color contrast, but it's not so bad/may be r/g sensitivity.
-Horribly addicting.

Really, that's all. This is pretty well done.

The Good:
-Horribly addicting.
-Lots of fun, and you feel like you're learning something/exercising your mind when you play.
-Generally pleasant color schemes, barring the slight contrast issues.
-Little minigames to break up puzzling.
-Daily Picross lets you visually see how you get better when faced with differing challenges (even if sometimes you get lucky/unlucky with the difficulty of a particular set).
-Cheap as hell. $20 for probably 15-20 hours of entertainment with replay value is *gold*.

In short, damn fine game. If you like sudoku/crosswords/other paperesque games and own a DS, it's definitely worth a try.

Stay tuned for more; next post feels like...something about WoW.

Thursday, November 8, 2007

First Impressions: Dragon Quest Monsters Joker

Okay, I can't really keep it a secret - I am a huge fan of the Dragon Quest Monsters series. I have the first one, both versions of the second one (and both have been played extensively), and even the third game (Caravan Heart) which was never released stateside (which I spent way too much time and effort creating a FAQ/walkthrough for). So when I heard that another one - with the curious title Joker - was coming out, I knew I had to have it. Like, release day.

After one false start Tuesday (oh I hate how the listed date is sometimes "when it ships" and sometimes "when it gets here"), I picked up the game yesterday afternoon. I've played it a bunch.


What do I think? Let me tell you a story. A story about Star Wars.

After Episode I came out, everyone was a little skeptical about how Episode II would be. I mean, a relative unknown in the lead, shaky work on the previous film, etc. etc. So I didn't get that hyped for it. I mostly avoided previews and such, and was rewarded for my ignorance - I actually kind of liked Attack of the Clones.

So the series was, at least to me, looking on the up-and-up again. And then they started releasing stuff to bridge to the third movie. Most notable of these was the Cartoon Network shorts, which were...just freaking awesome. General Grevious was at least 60% of my excitement for seeing Revenge of the Sith. So I was there opening day to see it.

Oh man, was that like getting hit in the balls with a two-by-four. Awesome characters were killed off like little bitches, especially Grevious. Horrible, terrible dialogue. Other stuff I've probably blocked out. It was terrible, and I was very sad.

So what does this have to do with DQMJ? Same feeling. I loved the previous games - well, maybe not so much Caravan Heart, as I think the heart system was at best overly complicated and at worst a massive pain in the ass - and this has so far been kind of a letdown.

Let's start with the bad news first.
-Ugly textures on backgrounds: Yes, yes, I realize that this is a DS game and I should be happy there is 3D at all. But some of the background textures are literally blobs of pixels, and it looks sloppy considering how polished the characters are.
-piss-poor controls/camera: Okay, I bet that got your attention. "But Ayndin! Surely this as a DS game must have controls like that which God dictated to Moses along with the commandments!?" No. No it does not. You have a pretty standard 3D Zelda camera, and a button for "face forward" plus buttons to rotate the screen. Most of it is okay-ish, but the button can't be used while you run, so sometimes you can make a sudden turn and not see where you're going any more. Also, you can't really run diagonally (or fast - your character seems to powerwalk everywhere, which is *not quite fast enough* to catch monsters moving away from you). Combine this with the horrific collision detection and you have a generally unpleasant time getting around. Oh, and no, you can't use the stylus to move.
-awful collision detection: So you know how people joke about RPG characters being unable to get around foot-tall barriers? It's like that, but most things - people, terrain, etc. - have a five-foot forcefield around them. Expect to get snagged on things as you plod around maps. Also, you may have to run around doors/chests/people hitting A for a bit to be able to interact with them.
-Plot: no, not "what plot", though it's about as detailed so far as I'd expect a DQM to be. No, the tone here is kind of ominous, a far cry from the "whoops I'm in some weird world, time to befriend monsters so I can get home" or "oops, pulled the plug on the drain to the world, we should consider fixing that...by gathering a group of monsters and taking on the universe" of the past ones. You're part of some secret organization and have been sent to infiltrate the monster battling competition. Your father is a cold bastard and the head of said organization (this is said within ten seconds of the start of the game and maybe in the manual, don't "SPOILERS NOES" me). We are dark and edgy, and the main character looks like Trunks had an unfortunate accident with a hairdresser who liked playing cards as models.

Good things:
-the graphics: Seriously, I have to imagine the DS almost bursting into flames to be able to display this thing. The monsters are well rendered, as are most characters, forgiving small resolution some. Menus are clean, and I like the flowcharty thing they have on during battle on the touchscreen. My only real gripe is the textures on the backgrounds.
-stat porn: It seems to still be there. I haven't delved into it as much as I'd like - I've spent a lot of time trying to get the WiFi to work, as Joker and Joker alone seems to hate my setup - but there is breeding ("synthesis") and it does things that pass stuff down, which means there is wankery to be had.
-slimes: They're cute. Eat your heart out, Pikachu.

More to come as I play.